The early days of being a new parent are often very disruptive. Suddenly there is a new little creature in the family and many things you have taken for granted change.

Feeling anxious as a parent

There are major changes on a psychological level which can leave expectations of becoming a parent unfulfilled during the initial postnatal period. In addition to getting to know the baby, new parenthood brings mixed emotions - both positive and negative - which is normal. It is common that the love for the baby, which you may have expected to appear immediately after the birth, only comes after a while when you start to get to know and bond with your little baby.

While feeling happiness, euphoria and a strong love for the child, you may worry about illnesses, accidents or causing harm to the child yourself. As a new parent, you may feel guilty about negative automatic thoughts such as "I'm not a good enough parent", "what if the baby is traumatized if I can't pick it up immediately when it cries", "what if I accidentally drop the baby". It is common to experience all kinds of emotional storms as a new parent. Worry is hard to feel, but worry is a vital instinct that makes you a better parent.

In the right dose, worry is good for the child; it makes you aware of potential dangers, for example, if the child is not wearing enough clothes or seems to have an illness. Often the greatest anxiety subsides after the child is about three months old, when a sense of security usually sets in. If the anxiety continues, takes over and starts to hinder you in everyday life by, for example, avoiding activities that there is no reason to avoid, you should take it up with the BVC who can advise or help further. If you are two parents in a partnership, it is important and helpful to affirm and support each other rather than letting the anxiety spread between each other.

To...
- Feeling anxious about parenting (am I doing the right thing, am I caring enough, etc.)
- Feeling anxious about the child's development (why does the child do this, is this normal, etc.)
- Experiencing emotional swings; happiness, irritation, fear, excitement, fatigue, sadness, joy

... is perfectly normal as long as the anxiety or emotional swings do not take over everyday life or lead to avoidance of activities that do not really need to be avoided, such as taking a walk with the child, taking the child with you when you go grocery shopping or having a coffee with a friend.