Involuntarily childless? Replace bad thoughts with good ones?

Do you have recurring thoughts related to your miscarriage or future pregnancy that loop in your head? Thoughts that affect the truth you teach yourself, such as guilt, worry, stress, depression or fear? This exercise helps infertile people to replace negative thoughts with new ones that help you create a new focus for the future.

For those who are involuntarily childless

The fear and anxiety of not being able to get pregnant again after a miscarriage can often be overwhelming. It is important to keep in mind that everything you feel and whatever you feel after miscarriage is normal. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions for as long as you need to! For those who are stuck in fear but want to overcome it, Liss will guide you through a multi-step exercise to help you regain your calm and courage.

Exercise. Do it like this:

Take out a pen and paper and give yourself time to work through this exercise. The aim of the exercise is to help you get out of the difficult thought patterns you are stuck in and focus on something more positive.

1. write down all the things you worry about, the things that loop in your head often.

For example "I miscarried because I stressed too much at work" or "My body rejected my child, I will never be a mother".

2. think about and answer the following:

Is what you think/worry about true?

What is the evidence for that?

Is it rational?

Does each thought/concern help you in any way?

How do you feel when you think like that?

 3. think about and write down how you would like to think instead.

For example Stress didn't affect my miscarriage, but to feel good I want to find a better balance in life" or "My pregnancy ended this time, but next time it could be my turn to be a mom".

4. Read through what you have written and stop with each new thought. How do you feel when you think like that?

5. How do you see the future when you think in this new way?

6. Finally, write down what you can and want to do to replace the old thoughts with the new ones.

For example "Start the day by reading the new beneficial sentences in bed before getting up" or "Have post-its with what I want to think on the mirror/computer/desk".

Finally, remember that it can take time to change mindsets that you have been stuck in for a long time. Be kind to yourself - every little step forward is a step towards feeling a little better.

If you want to get in touch with Liss, she offers a free initial meeting. You can find more information on her website Act'aime.