Susanna Moen has recently gone public with her pregnancy, but not too long ago she went through a miscarriage that was tough and challenging in many ways. Now she tells us how she navigated the miscarriage, the lessons she learned and the tools she used to get through it. 

Susanna Moen is the girl from Norrköping who has openly shared her journey to getting her hair back. missed periods after HA (hypothalamic amenorrhea) and everything else related to women's health and spirituality in recent years. She is co-founder of the company Womensync which is a Female Health & Lifestyle company working in the field of women's health, which has opened up a whole new world for women to understand the menstrual cycle. and how it can be influenced by lifestyle. 

When we meet Susanna, she is pregnant but not too long ago she went through a miscarriage. Her spirituality helped her to find the tools to deal with all the emotions of the miscarriage and now she shares her experience with us.

What happened when you realized you had a miscarriage and what did you do?

In the days before, I felt throughout my body that something was not right. The same day I had the miscarriage I had cramps and my whole body was signaling that something was not right - I really didn't feel well. Then, when I went to the toilet, I saw that I was bleeding. This can happen during pregnancy and does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. But given that I work in women's health through Womensync, I knew immediately what it meant. 

The first thing I did was to call my boyfriend who was about to leave for training. I had huge cramps so I just lay in bed and let the tears flow. We work closely with women's health experts through Womensync so I wrote to several of them for support and advice. When my boyfriend came home from training, we just lay there and allowed all our feelings to be there. It was very tough and sad.

What were the feelings that came up during the miscarriage? 

My first feeling was denial "No this can't be happening to us, maybe it's just bleeding and not a miscarriage". But in my heart I knew exactly what was happening. Then came an enormous sadness. It was indescribably painful to have that happiness taken away from us. All I did for a couple of days was cry and it felt hard to even exist. At that moment it felt like the pain would never go away but in my heart I knew that the pain was "only" temporary, that it would go away in time.

In recent years, I've been working a lot on my personal development and one of the things I take from that is that no matter how hard something is or how much it hurts, we will see the light and feel the happiness again.

Two days later, we had an early ultrasound scheduled to make sure everything looked good and, given the miscarriage, we went anyway to make sure I was bleeding properly and that everything looked good. This allowed me to breathe and the healing process to begin. The grief came and went but it got easier. I think one of the purposes of loss is that it unites us and provides a deeper understanding of each other and life. 

Did you feel any worries after the miscarriage, and if so, how did you deal with them? 

I think it's so common that at some point during or after a miscarriage you feel anxious. With Womensync, we meet so many women and couples who are going through miscarriages and before that knowledge could scare me, but today I see it in a completely different way. Having a miscarriage does not mean that there is something wrong with your body - or that it will happen again. 

One of my biggest realizations after the miscarriage is that we don't need to doubt ourselves or our body. The body is amazing and a miscarriage is not about something being wrong with it. This is something I think is so important to highlight for all women out there! In today's society we are fed with information that there is something "wrong" with our bodies and that we are not whole as we are. It is as if we have ended up in a mindset where we constantly have to "fix" the body even though there is really nothing wrong with it. An important part for me in the healing process has been to feel that I am WHOLE. There is nothing wrong with my body and there is nothing that I have to fix.

What kind of support did you receive from the health service? 

I live in Iceland at the moment as my boyfriend plays soccer here, so I had no contact with the healthcare system in Sweden. However, I went to the ultrasound to make sure everything looked good and that I was bleeding properly. For me, it has probably been different in that I am surrounded by experts in women's health who have guided me and given me a lot of support.

Did you have any tools/thinking that helped you go through the miscarriage and the aftermath? 

For me it became important to support myself spiritually but also physically. Some things that I did were that I allowed myself to feel exactly all the tough emotions by crying out, but also being happy, talking about it, being in nature and through meditation. 

I drank lots of our Womensync Collagen and bone broth to support my body with essential nutrients and amino acids. I ate iron-rich foods to replenish the nutrients and blood lost during the miscarriage and focused on eating foods that were cooked and warm (which TMC says supports the body after a miscarriage). I also went for regular acupuncture to rebalance my body.

Another element that helped me a lot in the process was spirituality. Through it, I have felt an acceptance of the miscarriage and trust in the process. Even though the little soul was only with us for a few weeks, it taught me a lot about life, about myself and about our relationship. But also about what is really important in life. It's so easy to focus on the physical body and that it's all about that, but I also have a belief in something bigger. 

A realization that landed deep within me was that a pregnancy is also about a third party, not just me and my partner, but a soul that wants to come to this earth when it is ready for us. The trials we went through made us stronger both as individuals and as a couple, and I choose to see that as a gift. I have really had to practice the uncertainty and that everything will happen exactly when it is supposed to. It is a challenging process, but it has really helped me and helped me to believe in something bigger.

Did your relationship with intercourse change after the miscarriage?

No, not really. During the period I was bleeding, we didn't have sex, but after that it was back to normal and it has felt good. But I think it's important to feel your own body, because how we heal is so incredibly individual. There is really no right or wrong, the important thing is to feel what feels true in yourself. 

You're pregnant again - congratulations! Did it take you a long time to get the courage to try to get pregnant again?

Thank you! I worked a lot on trusting my body but the first time my focus was only on giving my body time to heal. Both me and my partner felt that a new pregnancy can happen when it happens, when the time is right.

The month after the miscarriage I found out I had Lyme disease so I was treated for it, shortly after the treatment I had my first or second ovulation after the miscarriage. Then I felt recovered physically, although there were still some emotional parts that I was working on. It feels important to convey to others who are going or have gone through the same thing!

On my second or third ovulation after the miscarriage (I didn't know if I was ovulating or not the first time) we got pregnant again. I am incredibly humbled and grateful that we did and that this pregnancy has gone well so far!

Follow Susanna on Instagram!

Have you felt worried about miscarriage in this pregnancy? 

I think it is natural to experience anxiety at some point, but for me it has been important not to get stuck in it or take what has been into this pregnancy. The first weeks were the most challenging, but I did a lot of meditations about trust in the body, wrote affirmations and visualized that everything looked good with the baby in the belly. I also practiced trusting my body and the process over and over again. 

When I've felt like I couldn't guide myself with different tools, I've relied on my boyfriend and my mom to help me let go of the fear. It's so easy to think that the worry goes away after week twelve, but there are always things to worry about. So if you don't work to overcome it in some way, it will only change shape during pregnancy, and probably for the rest of your life. The fear of miscarriage turns into "what if everything is not fine", "what if something happens at birth" or "what if my baby gets sick". It is of course natural to feel anxious, but I try to work on turning my anxious thoughts around and guide myself to feel love and trust. 

Finally, is there anything you would like to say to others going through a miscarriage? 

If there is one thing I have learned during this process, it is to be humble about life and not to take anything for granted. Instead of looking at life and everything that can happen with fear, I choose to see it with love. It gives me so much to enjoy and feel grateful for every day we get to experience being here. I also know that no matter what happens in life, we will make it together! So my tip for those who have gone through a miscarriage or are experiencing a lot of anxiety at the beginning of a pregnancy - dare to believe. Don't let something that hasn't even happened to take away the happiness and experience of the pregnancy you will experience in the future or are in right now. My best way to break different thoughts and thought patterns that you are in, is through meditations and affirmations that guide from fear to the feeling(!) of love. You don't have to take the past with you into the present. In most cases, everything goes well.