Many pregnant women wonder when it's okay to have sex after giving birth. For some it happens quickly and for others it takes longer. Having a baby is a big change, and it's not at all unusual for your sex life to be different from before.

There is no set time limit for when it is okay to have sex after giving birth. It is up to you and your partner to decide together when you want to resume sex and cohabitation - sex must feel okay for both of you.

What can you expect from sex after childbirth?

If you have given birth, you may be affected by any stretch marks and, if you are breastfeeding, it is not uncommon for the lining of the vagina to feel sensitive at first. The female sex hormone oestrogen contributes to desire and increases blood flow through the mucous membranes. This hormone decreases during breastfeeding, so it is not surprising if you experience reduced desire or dry mucous membranes in the vagina. During intercourse, this can contribute to sex not feeling like it did before. If you have a miscarriage, you should use a condom to reduce the risk of infection, whether you gave birth vaginally or by caesarean section.

When can you have sex after giving birth?

Sometimes desire can also vary within the relationship. It is important to communicate about desire and the desire for physical closeness and sex. It is easy to feel rejected and to blame oneself. Perhaps the lack of desire is about the lack of alone time, sleep or the feeling of never having your body to yourself. Explain to your partner why you would like more, or less, sex and physical intimacy. Try to be sensitive, acknowledging and respecting each other's feelings is important. It may feel intense during the toddler years but there will come a time when you as parents will have more time for each other. 

Don't feel pressured to have sex after giving birth within a certain time. Only you, the pregnant woman, know when you feel ready to resume sex.

If you want to read about childbirth-related tears, you can do so here.